My Life, This Thursday

I feel accomplished today, but oh so drained and my body absolutely hates me. Today was one of those days where I pushed to do more than I can handle. I tidied up the house, vacuumed, mopped, took out the trash, showered, did some laundry, and most importantly kept the kids alive. I know that for many people, those tasks are no big deal, completing them multiple times a week and then some, but that’s not my world anymore. I feel like I have just worked a forty hour week. I don’t say this for sympathy or a pat on the back; I say it as a reminder to myself that I am doing the best I can and that is good enough. I often find myself feeling guilty that I don’t accomplish more daily, or compare myself to other people who tackle so much more in life. I’m trying to break this habit since it only hurts my mental and physical well being.

I found out today, that my primary insurance has approved the spinal cord stimulation trial, and now we’re just waiting for approval from our secondary insurance. The woman who handles all of this at the pain clinic, said she would get an update and get back to me by Tuesday, as she will be out of the office until then. I said to her, “sorry, I don’t mean to be a pain in the butt, I’m just anxious for pain relief”. She responded with “no, you’re fine, I completely understand”. What a sweetheart! The healthcare world needs more people like her.

My kids are amazing. I feel guilty so often that I am not the mother I would like to be, for them. They are so understanding and helpful when they know I am hurting really bad or am exhausted. They don’t mind when I need a nap and often times insist that I take one. I don’t even think they realize how much this means to me, though I try to tell them often.

I got bit by so many mosquitos today, that I am convinced there must have been on sign on me reading, All You Can Eat Buffet. When Noah was told to take two of each living creature on the arc, are we sure that mosquitoes were on the list? I need more Citronella candles asap.


Another pain pill in my body for the night and I’m ready to just do nothing.

Wishing you all a Happy whatever day it is, depending on where you are in the world. Take care, friends.

Images from http://Pixabay.com

With love,

J♡

💖All Love, No Hate💖

I recently opened my blog so that my son could read If, by Rudyard Kipling. He said to me, “Is this your blog?”, to which I responded, “yup”.

“How many hate comments have you had”?

“Not a single one, actually”.

So tonight’s post is to say, Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! You all are an awesome, kind, supportive bunch that I am blessed to interact with and call friends! If you ever, even for a second, doubt that you are making a difference in the world, know that you have made a positive impact in one person’s life, and that goes a long way. God bless you all.

With love,

J♡

⛈My Favorite Weather⛈

Hi, friends! It’s the end of May, the clouds are out, and it’s a chilly 75 degrees…IN ARIZONA! What?! If you’ve been following along for a while, you know that cold, gloomy weather is my favorite. The more gloomy it is, the happier I am.

My mom and I were talking about this recently. We were actually out shopping and she could see the change in my mood as the dark clouds started to roll in. She and I have a couple theories about why this is.

Here is my mom’s theory, which makes a lot of sense to me. They talk about balance. Maybe because on the inside, I feel dark and gloomy, when the environment (the weather) matches, I feel and am more balanced.

Here is my theory. When the weather is cold and gloomy, I am able to bundle up in my pants and warm sweater, where I feel comforted and protected (think about how a weighted blanket makes you feel when you’re anxious). When the sun is shining and it’s hot (remember, AZ gets in the 100 degree temps), it requires wearing lighter, more breathable clothing, leaving me feeling exposed and vulnerable.

What do you all think; are we on to something?

Happy Wednesday, everyone. May the weather bring what makes you feel happy.☺

With love,

J♡

My Tuesday

Positives for today:

  • My daughter had an awards ceremony in her classroom. She received three awards. She has kept all A’s this school year, and I am so very proud of her. Seeing her face light up when we walked into her classroom was so sweet. The parents of the other three kiddos at her table, could not be there today, so I got to enjoy the stories they shared with me instead.
  • My son had his 6th grade promotion ceremony this evening. There have been many struggles with school up until now, but it is amazing how much he has grown in that time. I am very proud of the young man he is becoming. I can’t believe he’ll be moving on to junior high in the fall. I have to admit, when the principal announced them as the class of 2025, I suddenly felt old. I think it’s neat that he will graduate twenty years after me.
  • My foot and ankle felt much better for most of the day.
  • I got to spend some family time this evening.
  • I accomplished a lot of the housework I’d been neglecting.

Negatives for today:

  • I didn’t get a nap
  • I spent most of the afternoon and evening with a migraine.
  • After all the activity today, I was in so much I felt like screaming.
  • It’s now midnight, which means I technically failed to post before the day was over…grrr. I will do better tomorrow.

Well, that is all. My pain pill is kicking in and I’m tired. Thanks for reading my babbles. Have a great day/night, all.

With love,

J♡

When Constant Pain Isn’t Enough

Last night as I stood up to leave the garage, I realized that my foot and lower leg had fallen asleep. This happens quite often, so I figured, no big deal, just be careful walking. The first step was a bit clumsy. Step two with the opposite foot was fine. I went to take the third step, and my foot didn’t want to leave the ground. It also couldn’t support my weight, and down to the concrete floor I went. I fell on my right side, hurting my wrist, knee, ankle and foot. Coffee splashed out of my cup and on to my phone. “OUCH” and then I hollered for my husband. He ran to me quickly, scooped me up, and put me on the couch with an ice pack. I was already on a pain killer when this took place, but the pain was still there. I didn’t sleep well last night due to the pain. I’m not sure if I sprained my foot or just bruised it really good; I just know that it still hurts today, especially with activity. I’m going to give it another day, and then maybe consider having it checked out.

On a happy note, here’s a picture I took tonight. See that teeny, tiny bright spec at the top?

That is the International Space Station. It was pretty cool watching it cross the sky. Also, see those clouds? Yes, it was a cloudy day with a high of 76 degrees; almost unheard of for this time of year in Arizona. I am loving it!

I hope you all had a wonderful (less clumsy) day!

With love,

J♡

A Poem Stuck in my Head

I’m not sure why, but this morning a line from a poem popped in my head and got stuck there. The same line over and over:

“If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;”

I think it was 15 years ago that I first learned this poem, and almost as long since I last read it. I decided to look it up and share it with you all.

If

By Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/if-by-rudyard-kipling


With love,

J♡