Type the title. Erase it. Type a new title, erase it and start typing a paragraph; I’ll think of a title after. Erase my three sentences and close the app. Stand at stare at my craft things. Pick up a canvas and put it back. Open WordPress, repeat the actions I did earlier. Decide to try macrame; it turns out terrible. Open WordPress once again.
I’m struggling tonight to find that creative and happy side of myself. Maybe it’s not just tonight; I’ve been feeling this way for days. I don’t know if it is the increase in negativity I’m seeing among people, stress over personal issues, or my meds aren’t doing their job properly. Maybe it’s a combination. Whatever the case, I don’t like it. I am feeling very meh. I know how quickly for me meh can turn into just existing. For those that have been with me a while, you know that is not a place I wish to go. I have an appointment with the neurologist on Wednesday and I plan to ask him about increasing the dose of my antidepressants. I thought the combination I’m on was working pretty well, but maybe not so much. Perhaps now would be a good time to ask my family what they have observed?
There’s a ton of thoughts navigating through my brain and feelings that I would like to express. I just can’t seem to get them out at the moment, but I thought I should at least write something so I don’t slip back into the bad habit of not writing for weeks on end. That said, I wish you all a wonderful weekend. Hugs.