Today (technically yesterday, now) was a bad one. As the whole family has been keeping some late Summer nights, it started like most days…waking up close to 11am, except today started with another massive headache. The kind where you don’t want to move, be in the light, hear noise, talk, or even chew your food. It was like a nightmare of a hangover, but without the party story to tell. My mom stopped over and brought us all lunch. I hardly touched it and took a couple of Tylenol. Fibro and back pain also thought it was time to play. Sharp pains through random body parts, skin that felt bruised to the touch, back pain pain that wrapped around the front like labor pains.
Just minutes after my mom left, the fun really kicked in. I walked into the laundry room and suddenly a wave of doom washed over me. I felt like a horrible memory had been triggered, but no idea what that memory was. I slumped down, back against the washer and told the kids to see if Nanna had drove away yet (she’s very familiar with panic attacks) or to get their dad. I wanted to cry. My body felt like it was being heated from the inside, out. I felt like I had a fire and tingling inside my head. The sense of doom passed quickly, but it was a scary feeling.
The kids allowed me some time to nap, which helped with the pain, but I still wasn’t feeling quite right. As I went into the laundry room, the same sense of panic set in. It felt just like the first time. Maybe this one was triggered by the recollection of the first one. Once again, the sense of doom passed quickly, but the tingling fire feeling stuck around for hours. Even as I type this, my head doesn’t feel right. I text my mom and she offered to come back over since my husband had to work. I declined because I knew she was busy, but then she said she was heading over. I’m glad she insisted. She was also sweet enough to go pick up my antidepressant.
I believe that little pill is responsible for much of today’s excitement. Ok, actually I’m responsible – er, irresponsible. I ran out of my little happy pills a couple of days ago and kept forgetting to pick up the refill. I do okay if I miss one night, but two or more throws off my groove. I guess this time, my groove went far away. I took my pill tonight, but I know it might take a couple days to get my system right. I will not make this mistake again. Today has been hell, but tomorrow will be better – hopefully.
Thanks for reading. I will try to make tomorrow’s post a little more happy. Take care, friends.