I just ruined a perfectly delicious cup of coffee by adding chocolate whey-protein to it. It is whey disgusting! The directions said I could add it to my favorite beverage, and that just happens to be coffee. Chocolate and coffee sounded like a delicious combination, but I was so very wrong. What now sits in my favorite mug, is this thick, gritty, foamy consistency that I just about spewed across the room. I didn’t want to be a quitter though, so I took a second sip, and a third. Nope…still horrid. I’m going to put it down the drain where it belongs and brew a fresh pot of coffee while I write this post. The weight gain attempt will just have to wait.
I’ve always been one of those people who struggle to put/keep on weight. The most I’ve ever weighed was 120lbs when I gained 35lbs during my first pregnancy. Some people may think, wow, your so lucky to be thin. Wrong. I hate it, always have. Besides the fact that it’s hard to find clothes to fit, it’s the comments and assumptions from people, that suck.
Oh my gosh, you’re so skinny!
Don’t you ever eat?!
You must be anorexic!
Real women have curves!
Only dogs like bones!
Have you done drugs?!
During my teen years, when depression first knocked on my door, these types of comments didn’t help. I tried not to let them get to me. At least at that time, I still had my physical health. Contrary to what others thought, my weight wasn’t a health problem. I was active. I danced my heart out in my free time and ran for fun (and track, my freshman year). I may have been thin, but I was also very strong.
Fast forward to now (age 32), and my weight, or lack of, really gets to me. I’m back at 88lbs. I’m not active like I used to be, so now I’m just thin and not muscular. This definitely feeds the depression and anxiety, and those feed the fibromyalgia. Despite my husband’s reassurances, I find myself worrying if he’s still attracted to me. What if I only get worse over the years?
One thing I’ve heard so many times since being diagnosed with fibro, is that exercise really helps. Well that would be great, but I’m in too much pain to do that. If I can manage to switch over the laundry and do the dishes, I consider it exercise because it feels like I just spent an hour at the gym, without the muscles to show for it.
My appetite isn’t great. Pain often leaves me feeling queesy, and fatigue means that many times I’ll choose a nap over food. I really want to gain weight. I’ve always wanted to get to 110lbs so I can donate blood. I’ve decided to try supplements…clearly they whey protein is not the one for me. There’s a pill out there that I’m going to try soon that is supposed to increase your appetite and help you gain/keep the weight. We’ll see.
In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy this fresh cup of delicious coffee. Remember to always be kind to others, and never judge. You never know what they are going through or why they are the way they are.
As always, thanks for letting me babble on. Hugs to all.