Don’t Drink That

I just ruined a perfectly delicious cup of coffee by adding chocolate whey-protein to it. It is whey disgusting! The directions said I could add it to my favorite beverage, and that just happens to be coffee. Chocolate and coffee sounded like a delicious combination, but I was so very wrong. What now sits in my favorite mug, is this thick, gritty, foamy consistency that I just about spewed across the room. I didn’t want to be a quitter though, so I took a second sip, and a third. Nope…still horrid. I’m going to put it down the drain where it belongs and brew a fresh pot of coffee while I write this post. The weight gain attempt will just have to wait.

I’ve always been one of those people who struggle to put/keep on weight. The most I’ve ever weighed was 120lbs when I gained 35lbs during my first pregnancy. Some people may think, wow, your so lucky to be thin. Wrong. I hate it, always have. Besides the fact that it’s hard to find clothes to fit, it’s the comments and assumptions from people, that suck.

Oh my gosh, you’re so skinny!

Don’t you ever eat?!

You must be anorexic!

Real women have curves!

Only dogs like bones!

Have you done drugs?!

During my teen years, when depression first knocked on my door, these types of comments didn’t help. I tried not to let them get to me. At least at that time, I still had my physical health. Contrary to what others thought, my weight wasn’t a health problem. I was active. I danced my heart out in my free time and ran for fun (and track, my freshman year). I may have been thin, but I was also very strong.

Fast forward to now (age 32), and my weight, or lack of, really gets to me. I’m back at 88lbs. I’m not active like I used to be, so now I’m just thin and not muscular. This definitely feeds the depression and anxiety, and those feed the fibromyalgia. Despite my husband’s reassurances, I find myself worrying if he’s still attracted to me. What if I only get worse over the years?

One thing I’ve heard so many times since being diagnosed with fibro, is that exercise really helps. Well that would be great, but I’m in too much pain to do that. If I can manage to switch over the laundry and do the dishes, I consider it exercise because it feels like I just spent an hour at the gym, without the muscles to show for it.

My appetite isn’t great. Pain often leaves me feeling queesy, and fatigue means that many times I’ll choose a nap over food. I really want to gain weight. I’ve always wanted to get to 110lbs so I can donate blood. I’ve decided to try supplements…clearly they whey protein is not the one for me. There’s a pill out there that I’m going to try soon that is supposed to increase your appetite and help you gain/keep the weight. We’ll see.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy this fresh cup of delicious coffee. Remember to always be kind to others, and never judge. You never know what they are going through or why they are the way they are.

As always, thanks for letting me babble on. Hugs to all.

With love,

J♡

19 thoughts on “Don’t Drink That

  1. This is such a beautiful and powerful admission. Being borderline obese all my life, I have always been jealous of people who can be thin, just like that. This forced me to see the other side. Looking forward to reading more from you. Cheers!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’ll never forget the day in the elevator when a perfect (or not so perfect ) stranger asked me what I weighed! She commented on how thin I was, (since I also have always struggled to gain or keep on weight) and how I could probably eat anything I want. I was humiliated! Why did she think that was an acceptable question? How would she have felt if I had asked her the same question? What if I asked her if she had to watch everything she ate? That would be just as rude and insensitive. I’m happy to see another reader here acknowledge that she is now looking at it from a different perspective and I thank her 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh yes, the “how much do you weigh?!” comment, or when someone tries to guess your weight. Very rude, but they don’t see it that way. We all need to practice thinking before we speak.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Having a metabolic disorder that keeps me thin, I can relate to you. I grew up with titles of ‘Skinny Bones Jones’ and ‘Sticks’. I have learned that using and drinking coffee creamer instead of milk helps me, and Ensure is good for getting the protein, as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. That must be so tough to go through. As a kid I had a stammer and the comments just killed me. Sending you hugs. xxx I hate protein whey – we can out people on the moon but can’t find an almost palatable protein powder. Recently been trying Pea Protein Powder. Equally mushy but at least you can mix it with soup and it ends up just thickening the soup and you can’t taste it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. Sending hugs right back. Haha, you’re right…you’d think they would have found something by now! I have tried the Pea Protein before, but never in a soup…what a great idea! I may have to give it another try. I really hope you are doing okay.

      Like

    1. 😂 I’ve tried black coffee and stevia(only because I didn’t have real sugar)…I just can’t get used to the taste. I’m a 2 scoops of sugar and milk/creamer kind of gal. He woke me up this morning and that is a blessing in itself 😊. Stay blessed! ♡

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Girl I have been on both ends of the weight issue! From being “are you sick” to “when are you due”It is awful what people think is acceptable to say to someone. Stay strong and find what works for you. Slow and steady is a much more effective way to go. As for the protein they all taste like about the same if you ask me. The best way for me is in smoothies or with almond milk. (I can’t do regular milk plus the almond is a little less thick so it blends better with the powder) Vanilla is always better than chocolate and you know I love chocolate. I hope you find the right combination for you. **Another sneaky way is in baked goods. Pinterest is life . 😀😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😣 It’s terrible that people think it’s okay to do that! Smoothies sound like a tasty option and almond milk isn’t so terrible. Lol I just don’t know if I can bring myself to try vanilla. I like the way you think with the baked goods! Xo

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s