Please Don’t

Don’t assume that because I’m smiling, surely I must be happy. Sometimes it takes all that I have to wear a smile, but if you look into my eyes, you will see that they disagree.

Don’t assume that the things I did yesterday, I will be capable of doing today. My pain is unpredictable and always present. It can change from one minute to the next. It is likely that yesterday’s activities have drained me of my energy and my pain tolerance will be lower today. It may take me three days to get back to where I was yesterday.

Don’t insist that the treatments your aunt, friend, or coworker used will help me just because it helped them. We may have the same illnesses, but how they affect an individual varies greatly. If you think I haven’t tried remedy a, b and c, you are mistaken.

Don’t tell me the things I should do to “cure” my fibromyalgia. I’m not giving up, but a cure doesn’t exist at the moment (do your research). I accept that fibro is now a part of my life and do the best I know how to keep moving forward.

Don’t assume that I am exaggerating how I feel to get out of plans or responsibilities. The amount of guilt I feel each and every day, is more than you can imagine. I feel like a burden. I’m no longer invited to social events. I feel like I let people down constantly.

Don’t mock or continuously question my illnesses just because you don’t understand them. If I try to explain them to you or give you resources to read, listen to me and read the information. If that still doesn’t satisfy you, there are plenty other resources online.

Don’t tell me I should just be more positive. I’m trying my absolute hardest; I promise.

Don’t tell me that others have it far worse than I do. I’m well aware of this and trust me, I feel guilty when I complain. This doesn’t mean however, that my struggles are not valid.

Rant over. Thank you for allowing me to vent. Sending big hugs to whoever may need one.

With love,


30 thoughts on “Please Don’t

  1. Big hugs right back at you 🙂 Depression is such a difficult thing to deal with. Especially when there is no clear cut answer to it. You sound like you’re doing your best. That’s all anyone can do. Much love to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ❤ ❤ ❤ I hope nobody is giving you too rough a time ❤ ❤ ❤

    A very close friend of mine has been effected by fibromyalgia in recent years. She is not the only friend I know who has been diagnosed with it. But her's is more severe. It has turned her life upside down. I know she has days when she feels so bad about what she can not do.

    But we love her so much. She still does all sorts of little thing for others. She has really got into decorating cakes. Her sister bakes and then sets my friend up so she can do the decorations. She has the loveliest afternoon teas with her creations. We love what she does.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Dear. I’m sorry that your friends are stuck with the fibro monster; I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It sounds like you and others are a wonderful support system. That really makes a world of difference in the life of fibro. She is definitely blessed to have you as a friend. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Even as your mom and, dare I say, close friend, I can’t fully comprehend the pain and all that goes with it that you deal with on a daily basis. I pray every night that you’ll wake up in the morning feeling better and “normal. ” I am here for you ALWAYS. Xo. MOM

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You are my rock! I know I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. I appreciate the prayers, even if His answer is “no” or “not yet”. I love you to infinity! 💜xo💜


  4. I can totally understand. I get unwanted suggestions and advice for my Migraine and we are all different in our symptoms, reasons, etc..
    Prayers for you and patience for others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. Sometimes people just don’t understand until they experience it themselves, and we hope that they never have to. Prayers of healing for you. Take care. 💛


  5. Great post and ditto. It’s amazing how some people are so ignorant about how we feel with and about our pain. This lady here could write 10 books on chronic back pain and anxiety. I’m sure you can as well.

    It’s interesting how God made me an empowerment coach for people trying to find happiness and what that means.

    You have to go through a bunch of shit to empower the masses. I’m sure you can too.

    It’s takes work on our part to get that smile on and we don’t need anyone’s approval nor interrogation.

    Keep shining. We are warriors for living life and not just existing. 😁🙌💥😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Emma. As tired as I am of the pain, I also know that a lot of good has come from it. Some days I just have to try really hard to remember that, and it helps me to keep going. I hope pain is treating you kind today. Much 💜 to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Agh. Fibromyalgia is the worst. I feel for you in the depression area, though not the pain one. Thanks for writing this. (You might be interested in a post I wrote called “Depression for Dummies” over at a collaborative blog after I had a similar rant.) 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your rant is completely justified. I just can’t imagine what it must be like for you. The last thing you need is all this rubbish from people who suddenly become experts. They just don’t know. The smile is often just a mask. Sending you hugs. Wish I could do more. xx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you.💛
      I’m so thankful for people like you. Although sad that your loved ones suffer, it is wonderful that they have your support. It really makes a world of difference in how we get through each day.


  7. Don’t assume that I am exaggerating how I feel to get out of plans or responsibilities. The amount of guilt I feel each and every day, is more than you can imagine. I feel like a burden. I’m no longer invited to social events. I feel like I let people down constantly.

    Why do I relate so much ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😢 I’m so sorry. It saddens me that you and so many others can relate. At the same time, it helps to know we are not alone in our struggles. I’m so thankful for this community and the amount of love and support from other bloggers.
      Thank you for joining along in my journey.💛
      I tried to visit your site, but it takes me to a page that says it cannot be found. It may be an issue with my goofy phone, but maybe try checking the link for your site to make sure everything is correct. I had to correct mine before. All the best to you.


      1. Hey J , thank you for this amazing blog , thank you for putting into words things I never thought would be possible to explain , it gives me joy to know that you are not letting this put you down yet you were able to start an amazing community which I am sure will be able to help so many.
        Yeah I got a goofy phone too so I know what you mean, I will try to fix it , thanks for letting me know.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much, Vanda. It can be so difficult to describe how we feel. I’ve always found it easier to write my feelings, rather than verbally express them. If I can help even one person, then I feel like my struggles at least have purpose. Likewise, there are many bloggers and posts which help me.
        No problem; looking forward to checking out your site.


    1. Oh no 😢! I hope this post served as a reminder that you are not alone. Keep fighting, my friend. I hope this weekend treats you kindly.
      Thank you. I’m taking one day at a time. Thankfully, today was a better day than most.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. When I read this post, I wondered if I was dreaming. It was like all of my thoughts spilled out of my head onto your blog. I just received my latest denial from social security. The judge decided that because I was neat and well groomed for my 30 minute appointment every two weeks, I showed no signs of not being able to take care of myself. What the judge didn’t get to see was the 4 hours it took me to get ready for each appointment I went to, or the fact that I took two showers and changed my clothes twice a month. The judge doesn’t get to see the three day process it takes to wind down from dealing with the public.

    We sweetheart, are lucky enough to get one of those invisible speed bumps that others don’t understand. I’ m glad that while I came back to take care of family stuff, I got to catch up on your posts.

    You are definitely one of my favorite followers!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. On one hand, I am happy that my words were able to capture what you were feeling and thinking. On the other hand, it breaks my heart that you and others know this life so well.
      I’m so sorry to hear that you were denied your social security benefits! It’s not right. I don’t know what they expect. Had you not drained yourself mentally and physically to get yourself presentable for your appointment, would they grant benefits, or would they go completely opposite and try to have you put away somewhere. The system fails people on so many levels. I’m so sorry that you have to deal with this. If you ever need someone to just vent to, you can always contact me by email; I’d be more than happy to offer any support I can or simply be a sounding board.

      Thank you for taking the time to read my posts and thank you for your kind words. It truly means a lot. You are one of my favorite bloggers. Please take care of yourself.


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