2019

I must say that January is off to an interesting start. Back in October, just a week before my surgery, I developed a hoarseness in my voice and a cough. Wanting to make sure I was good to go for surgery day, I made a visit to urgent care just a couple days prior to. I was diagnosed with a nasty sinus infection and given antibiotics. That sinus infection cleared up and I had another one in December, which has also cleared up. Guess what? Still have a hoarse voice and cough and now a stupid rash on my upper body. Can a gal catch a break please? Between this and depression, anxiety and fibromyalgia, I feel like a complete mess right now. The new ailments feed the anxiety, the anxiety feeds the fibro, the fibro feeds the depression…yada yada yada. It’s a vicious little circle.

Yesterday, I felt my anxiety level was heightened without knowing why. I ended up having a “psychogenic movement attack” (I’ll talk more about these another time). Basically what happened is that my upper body tensed up causing me to move in ways I didn’t want to. My neck tightened and wrenched my head sideways, my arms went above my head, my hands were clenched in fists, and tears streamed down my face. I thank God that my husband hadn’t left for work yet, as he knows how to calm me and bring me back from this hell. Though the attack didn’t last long, it was enough to leave me feeling wiped out. I’m happy to say that by the end of the night I was able to go to one of my happy places – my sewing table. That’s when something cute happened that really lifted my mood.

I’ve been making bags/purses and my eight year old daughter is probably the biggest fan of my work. I had just finished a new purse that she really loved, a couple nights before.

She told me last night that she was going to find a way to get $30 (the value she determined) to pay me for this purse. A short while later she walked up and said to me “Mommy, I got a little somethin’ somethin’ for yaaaa”, as she slid a folded up $1 bill on top of the purse. The amount of cuteness in her words, tone and facial expression was almost enough to make me cave. Now with school just starting back this morning, I maaaaay have bribed her instead. I told her I didn’t want her money, but if she could prove to me that she could get ready for bed and stay in bed without calling Mommy in a hundred times, the purse was hers in the morning. Guess who’s got a brand new purse today?!

Today was overall pretty good. Pain and everything else were at a manageable level. As a huge bonus, my husband had the day off, so the four of us got to spend some quality time together. Here’s to hoping tomorrow will be a good day as well.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. šŸ˜Š

With love,

Jā™”

4 thoughts on “2019

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